19 April 2012


Miss O loves fish. All day long we talk about "Pish" and ESPECIALLY "Bookow Pish" or Mickey Fish.

Me? Not so much. Not a fish fan. While I love my father, my only memories of the fish tanks he had for us as kids are dead, floating, pale fish carcasses. Well and the few fish we did have that survived that my brother flushed down the toilet while still alive. It was rather traumatic for me, and even more so when he decided about 6 months later that he was back to being "into" fish and wanted another tank.

That being said, is it too much to ask that Miss O be able to enjoy nice, healthy fish at the aquarium and the zoo? Why do we have to bring the fish INTO the house?

Hubby and I even had "the talk" regarding a fish tank and I explicitly asked that we NOT get one. I really can't do dead fish. I don't know what it is about dead fish tank fish but they make my stomach lurch and my whole body clench. The only dead fish I deal with are over rice with wasabi and soy sauce. No joke.

Anyway, do you see where I'm going with this? Now I must be careful to refrain from husband bashing (well besides over his head when he gets home from his business trip), but my husband had this brilliant surprise for us when we got home from Disney. A fish tank! Completely stocked with .. MICKEY FISH! And, if those weren't great enough, AFRICAN FROGS! "See, honey, I bought what I knew you two would love.."

You see? He made HIS fish tank all about Miss O and me. Don't be fooled. This was not a NICE thing to do. This. Was. War.

Rules: I don't do fish tanks. I don't clean the tank. I don't feed the fish. I DON'T remove dead fish under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. Nay, I don't want to SEE dead fish.

Anyway, do you see where I'm going with this?

Two weeks in: Mickey Fish #1 doesn't look so hot. I'll spare you the details but safe to say the end was near. Ray offered to flush him while he was still alive but, well, see posting above. Finally, after days of suffering, Mickey Fish #1 goes.

One week later: Ray is gone for business. Do you SEE where this is going? Not only am I to FEED the fish (see rules), BUT I come in to find one fish dead. Not floating, of course, where it would be "easy" to reach, but rather wrapped around the filter thing-a-ma-jig. So I spend all night last night freaking out, trying to figure out how to get the fish. Gagging over the fish. Creating quite a scene for the neighbors (should they be peering in my windows).

Anyway, do you see where I'm going with this this?

Upon further inspection there isn't a dead fish. Whew. No. There are TWO DEAD FISH. I am telling you! I can't take it.

So I went to bed.

Apparently, however, I have inherited the inability to deal with dead fish. In fact, I'm going to do some research later because I actually think it might be a disease passed through nurturing. You see, my mom also did not deal with dead fish. She would wait until my father would come home from his business trips and announce (ever so sweetly, as that is my mom's way) "Dear, I do believe there is a dead fish in the tank" and at this point probably batted her eyes (or not, as that is not really her way).

Wait.. Maybe that's why all I remember about tanks are dead fish. Thanks, MOM.

And I'm only half joking when I say if any of you would like to come remove said fish, I will pay you one hundred dollars. (I'd say one million, but I might have too many offers and I simply don't have enough room for you all to show up at my house..) :)


  1. Hahaha. Great :-) Would gladly do it but I'm not sure I want to be an enabler. I mean, isn't there a time in one's life when he/she must learn to take care of the "dead fish"? This is why I make Danielle kill her own spiders (except for the REALLY big and hairy ones that could jump into her ear and lay eggs in her brain. I don't want a spider-brain wife just to preserve a principle).

    Anyway, greatly captured blog entry. Keep it up! :-)

  2. Hahaha! I hate dead fish too. What's even more traumatic is when I was a child my father had a "I'm into fish" moment and the bigger goldfish actually ate all the smaller ones. Imagine walking in on THAT!